Wednesday, November 30

8-year old aspiring reporter scores interview with 68-year old aspiring presidential candidate

Editor’s note: Katrina Russell, an 8-year-old Naples girl, made national news this weekend when the Community School of Naples student had the chance to interview Republican presidential candidate Newt Gingrich at a book signing in Naples. Here, in her own words, she tells readers of her experience:

I was still in my pajamas when my mom said, “I have a great idea, Newt Gingrich is at Books-a-Million doing a book signing today. Let’s go.”

I thought Newt Gingrich was a famous author. My mom explained that he wasn’t the man that owns the pizza stores ( Herman Cain) but another man trying to be president. I want to be a reporter like my mom and I thought this might be my big chance.

My mom stopped me right away and said, “Before you get excited you have to do research and prepare some questions.” I came up with seven questions that were really important and I knew that other people would want to know the answers too. I used index cards and wrote them in different colors so if I had to pick out a specific question I could identify it by the color. I thought other kids would want to know the pizza question because everyone likes pizza. Honestly, I didn’t think the plan would work.

When we got to the bookstore at 9:15 a.m., people were already in line. While we waited (over 2 ½ hours!) my mom introduced me to the TV and newspaper reporters. One reporter (Chris Moody, of Yahoo News) read my questions and suggested I pick out the best three. I practiced reading them outloud and he (Moody) said, “I like that one” or he just nodded his head so I knew he didn’t really like that question as much.

I was nervous when I went up to the table to talk to Mr. Gingrich because I’ve never seen a president (even though he’s not a president yet). While I was asking the questions I was scared and wanted to run out of the bookstore but my legs wouldn’t move. I didn’t notice all of the reporters around me but it felt really crowded.

Mr. and Mrs. Gingrich shook my hand and both signed the children’s book for me and my brother Timmy. Mr. Gingrich signed a book for my parents.

My first question was, “Have you met a president? If so, who was your favorite one?” He answered “George Washington and I’ve met Nixon, Carter, Ford, Reagan, Bush 1, Clinton, Bush 2, Obama, and of course, myself. I’m not a president yet. But with your help, I could be.”

“If you become president, will you order Godfathers pizza?” I asked.
“I like Herman Cain. Godfathers pizza is good. But I shouldn’t be eating so much pizza,” Mr. Gingrich said.
“Do you like Godfathers pizza? Mr. Gingrich asked me.
“I’ve never had it before,” I said.
“Well, I’ll tell Cain that you would like to try his pizza,” he said.

I asked “If you have pets, what are you going to do with them if you become president?” He answered, “I don’t have any pets right now, but I love pets. I think if I become president we’ll get a dog.”

I wasn’t able to write everything down because he had long answers and it was taking up too much time. On one of my question cards, he signed the back and wrote “Great questions, Newt.”

I wanted to run out of there with my mom but the reporters stopped me. I knew the answers to the easy questions, like “How old are you?” but some of the reporter’s questions were really hard. I told them, “He’s a good person and I know he’ll make good laws and he’ll set the U.S.A. to some peace. He’s just a really good person and that’s why I’m voting for him.”

I thought Mr. Gingrich was going to look young but I think he looks like the grandfather in the book “Little Women.” I think he would play outside and scooter with me. I think Mrs. Gingrich is more the sort of person that would go on the swings.

I’d like to meet them again because I have a lot more things I’d like to know. For example, I wanted to ask what he does in his free time and if I can come to the Easter Egg Hunt at the White House?

I’d also like to interview President Obama because he’s the most important person in the world. I would like to know if President Obama would ever have a lady for vice president. I hope there is a lady president one day. Also, I want to know if he has ever had pizza with Herman Cain.

Saturday, November 26

Gingrich attracts another record crowd

By NBC's Alex Moe ~ NAPLES, FL -- For more than four hours, a long line wrapped around the entire top floor of Books-A-Million here just to have the chance to visit briefly with Newt Gingrich and his wife, Callista. ~ “Frankly, like the bookstore, we are a little overwhelmed by the turnout here this morning,” the former House speaker told the more than 650 people who came out Saturday to copies of the Gingrich’s books autographed. “So thank you all for being here.”

One attendee, 8-year-old Katrina Russell, not only had a book autographed for her father, but also asked the presidential hopeful a few questions she had prepared.
 “If you become president, will you order Godfathers Pizza?” Katrina asked Gingrich, reading off of a hand-written index card that Gingrich later wrote “good questions” on the back of. ~ “I like Herman Cain and Godfathers Pizza is good but I eat too much pizza, I’m not supposed to eat pizza,” the Speaker responded with a smile and was asked two more questions by the little girl.

“Someday if you work hard, you can grow up and be one of these folks,” Gingrich said as he nodded to the gathered media. ~ Later, Katrina, who one day hopes to be a reporter, told the press she would vote for Speaker Gingrich if she could. ~ “He’s a good person and I know that he’ll make good laws and that he’ll set the U.S.A. to some peace and he’s a really good person and that’s why I’m voting for him,” she added.

During the book signing, the Michele Bachmann campaign sent out an email accusing Gingrich of being the “most liberal GOP candidate on the issue of immigration reform.”   “Either Michele Bachmann can’t get her facts straight on understanding immigration reform or she is intentionally lying. Either of, it is disappointing in a presidential candidate,” spokesman R.C. Hammond told NBC News at the event in Southwest Florida.

Gingrich Wins Over 8 Year-Old Aspiring Reporter

A pint-sized citizen who believes she is old enough to vote and wants to be a journalist when she grows up turned out to Republican presidential candidate Newt Gingrich’s book signing in Naples, Fla., today to ask him some questions.

Katrina Russell, an “eight and a half year-old” third grader, said she wanted to learn more about Gingrich and now that she has, she claims she’s going to vote for him. Katrina came with her mother Virginia Russell, who is still an undecided Republican voter.

“I had some curiosities so when I heard that he was here my mom said ‘Hey let’s go get some books signed and ask some questions.”

She bought the “Sweet Land of Liberty” book for Gingrich and his wife Callista to sign. When it was her turn, she gave Gingrich her questions on note cards and asked him to answer them. She said she wrote them in different colors so she could remember in what order to ask them.

Gingrich paused the line of about 500 people waiting to have books signed to take Katrina’s questions. He leaned in endearingly, with his hand to his cheek, letting down his usual gruff Speaker of the House guard.

“Have you met a president? If so who was your favorite one?” Katrina asked. “My favorite president is George Washington,” Gingrich said. “I’ve met Nixon, Ford, Carter, Reagan, Bush, Obama and myself, but I’m not president yet but with your help I might be.”

“If you become president, will you order Godfather’s Pizza?” Gingrich said, “I like Herman Cain. Godfather’s Pizza is good. I eat too much pizza. I’m not supposed to eat too much pizza. Do you like Godfather’s Pizza?” Gingrich asked.
“I haven’t had it before,” Katrina said.
“Well, I will tell Herman Cain that you should get some Godfather’s Pizza,” Gingrich said.

Katrina asked him one last question before moving on.

“If you have pets, what are you going to do with them?” “I don’t have pets right now, but I love pets,” Gingrich said. “We used to have dogs which I like a lot. Maybe if when we get to the White House we might get a dog.”

Katrina told ABC News she was surprised Gingrich didn’t have any pets, but she told the press why he won her over.

“He’s a good person and I know he’ll make good laws and he’ll set the U.S.A to some peace. He’s just a really good person and that’s why I’m voting for him,” Katrina said.

Gingrich didn’t have the heart to tell her she wasn’t old enough to vote yet, but as for being a reporter, Katrina has quite the head start.
“Some day if you work hard you’ll grow up and be one of these folks,” Gingrich said as he pointed to the gaggle of cameras pointed in her direction.

Wednesday, November 23

Drug Tunnel reveals more than pot

Good tunnel, good weed – what to do?
By any measure the drug tunnel discovered last week in a Californian warehouse is impressive. Presumably without the aid of a structural engineer or a front end loader the 400 yard tunnel was built 20 feet underground from Mexico to California. The tunnel included lighting, ventilation, a drainage system and a Starbucks at either end. Authorities discovered 14 tons of marijuana in the tunnel and warehouse.
I would ask why they didn’t find the Mexican drug tunnel sooner, but I know from experience that tunnels can be well hidden. As a kid, my backyard was so full of tunnels it looked like a sinkhole. My friend, Jim Bryce was a master. True story - in only five months, he and his two teenage brothers dug a tunnel over ten feet underground. They dug in the middle of the night in his backyard and carted the dirt away in grocery carts. Their tunnel evolved into a subterranean housing system, replete with cement walls, carpeted rooms, electricity and even a TV. If a couple of teenagers can build an underground multi-level dwelling and go unnoticed, I’m not surprised that more tunnels haven’t been found.
Frankly, I’m more concerned about the tunnel diggers than the weed. If the tunnel diggers are caught they can’t be incarcerated. The minute they enter prison, they will just tunnel their way to escape. Or worse, they’ll stay and serve their sentence all the while teaching the other inmates how to dig drug/escape tunnels. The last thing we need is more skilled tunnel diggers.
It would certainly help if border access could be secured. In an effort to restrict access to the U.S., Minnesota Rep. Michele Bachmann signed a pledge for construction of a fence along the entire length of the Mexican border, approximately 2000 miles by 2013. Bachmann’s fence idea may be wilting as it is made more and more obvious that those motivated to cross the border (like drug cartels) aren’t deterred by such impediments. Aside from the cost of the materials, the labor costs will be so high that it may make sense to have the fence built in Mexico and then shipped to the U.S. for installation. The money intended for fence construction may be better spent on research and development of an invisible shield that extends both above and below ground.
Drug Cartels have chosen warehouses along the Mexican border as a prime tunnel entry point as trucks can load and exit the warehouse unseen. In an effort to reduce the number of warehouse tunnels, U.S. authorities recently initiated a campaign to alert warehouse landlords. Authorities sent out a list of warning signs that indicate that someone might be building a tunnel in the warehouse. The warning signs included “sounds of jackhammers” (digging a tunnel in the ground), “piles of dirt” (coming out of the tunnel) and “the scent of unburned marijuana” (coming through the tunnel). One warning sign omitted from the list was “an envelope addressed to the warehouse landlord filled with non-sequential, unmarked 100 dollar bills.”
Some Californians believe that the Drug Enforcement Agency (DEA) and Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) activities are a waste of time, public funds and good weed. One resident pointed out “I don’t know why they bother hauling all that weed through a tunnel when everyone knows the best weed in the world is grown in California.”
However, the DEA and ICE activities may not be completely fruitless. One ounce of Mexican weed has an approximate street value of $200 making the 14 tons worth $89,600,000. With an underfunded pension fund and a total debt of close to 50 billion dollars, California might consider selling the marijuana back to Mexico.
It’s fair to say that as long as there are stoners buying the weed, there will be dealers going under, over and around the border to sell the weed.

Friday, November 18

My new Indian name

I have decided that I should give myself an Indian - as in Native American Indian name.  Also, I am using 'Indian' because I grew up with Cowboys and Indians and Tonto.  Tonto was a cool Indian - not a cool Native American.

I am trying to think of a symbolic name that is meaningful and reflects my character.  Like "Stands with a Fist" the heroine in the movie Dances with Wolves.  Remember her?  She was the only female character in the movie that had a rat's nest for a hair do - reflecting her 'wild' Indian persona.  All of the other female roles in the movie had perfect braids.  Odd dichotmoy - sounds like a bad wardrobe and makeup department to me.

Anyway, instead of "Stands with a Fist" I am going with "Sits with a keyboard."  At least for the time being until I come up with something better. 

Thursday, November 17

Thanksgiving DNA Testing Pilgrim or Native American Indian?

In this age of political correctness I am now officially the coolest person you know. I have facts to prove it. Wait for it (this is awesome)…. I got the results of my DNA testing. (You should hear a drum roll in your head right now) I am part European, part Native American and part Sub-Saharan African. I now basically own Thanksgiving.
DNA testing requires a scientist and other professionals to perform tests that include the following words: nucleotide, haplogroup, chromosome and genetic marker. Statistical analysis and other higher math functions are performed when DNA percentages are determined, but why get bogged down in minutia? I have drawn my own conclusions. I think it’s more what you feel than what is actually revealed on a test result.
Frankly, I’m not surprised by the results. Deep down I’ve always known I was Native American. It was solidified after I saw Dances with Wolves. The Native Americans, who were called Indians in that movie, were extremely cool. They lived in tents, smoked pot and traversed rough terrain hunting, harvesting and cooking food over a fire. They also rode bareback on horses cantering at breakneck speed and shot and killed buffalo with homemade bows and arrows.
My Native American roots are so obvious to me now. No one has ever had to tell me where to find food or how to cook it. I got an award at Camp Manakin for sitting properly at lunch every day and eating everything on my plate. And I really like to camp and have even happily slept on the ground with nothing but a tarp and the stars overhead. I was only seven years old when I won the archery award at Camp Pittaway. There’s more. When my mom told me I was “behaving like a wild Indian” I took it as a compliment. At Camp Mont Shenandoah I exhibited excellent canoeing skills and almost won the canoe race. (Did you notice the camp theme? As the youngest of many, many children I attended a plethora of camps – suspiciously all of Native American name. Coincidence - I don’t think so.)
Also, have you ever seen an unattractive Native American? Did you see Last of the Mohicans? I will let you deduce on your own what I am hinting at here. Admittedly, the role of Magua and Chingachcook were played by actors but I think it’s reasonable to gloss over that fact.
One could argue that I am part Pilgrim since I am an ethnic potpourri. But I can’t imagine that any member of my DNA family tree would ever have worn those Mary Jane buckle shoes.
I’ve done a lot of research (mostly in my head) and concluded that according to the laws of political correctness I can celebrate everything from Boxing Day to Kwanza. I’m particularly interested in celebrating gift-giving holidays that involve large meals.
I would like to wrap up this politically correct ethnic potpourri article by reminding readers that everything in print can be considered absolute fact. I know this to be true, because I also edit Wikipedia.

Wednesday, November 16

JellyBean12 Rocks the Preschool

Original article and comments here: Virginia's State of Mind with Comments - suburban brilliance

Jellybean12 writes:
I take issue with the author's seeming disgust at her son's preschool art projects both in their description and value as momentos. Firstly, my child attends the same preschool and is, in fact, in the same age group as our dear author's son. No such projects, sombrero or otherwise have been done. The author's examples are a work of pure fiction. Neither is the author "in charge" of any crafts in the classroom. Gratefully, this aspect is developed, prepared and managed by the teacher. If our author were in charge, she would no doubt parade a litany of cliched, insensitive stereotypes into the classroom. Preschool projects are developed for the children to exercise gross and fine motor skills, teamwork, patterning, color experimentation, letter and word building, exposure to new and different mediums and textures. You'll notice that conspicuously absent from this list is the ability for Mommy Dearest to store items prettily. Here's a clue, your child's education is NOT all about you and your desire to catagorize things into neat little boxes. Further, many of the oversize projects are made by recycling materials or nature objects (i.e. driftwood sculptures) and teach teamwork and cooperative learning. Thereby quashing the author's argument for diminutive, "green" projects. If the author is unwilling to make such allowances for her young child's artwork, maybe a cat would have been a better idea.
Perhaps the author should re-enroll in school since the pure fabrications, stereotypes and narcisscism preset in this piece seem to reveal that her own "perfectly scaled-in-size" education has been a failure.

OUCH! In response
butterflygirl writes:
in response to Jellybean12:
Wow, you should really get a sense of humor!! This is a humorous column, you shouldn't read it if you're going to take it so seriously!! If a stand up comedienne gave the same monologue, the entire audience would be hysterical! We can all relate to the oversize art projects our children bring home & where and how are we going to store them! Just to be clear, I save and LOVE them all!! I laughed out loud when I read this weeks column! In a world filled with negative headlines, it's fun to find a little humor in our everyday!!

LadyMarmalade writes:
in response to Jellybean12:
I'm 62 years old and long ago discovered that my kids once-loved art projects are now still once-loved art projects that belong in the trash can.
When my kids were little we didn't have cell phones, no one texted, we didn't worry about exercising "gross and fine motor skills, teamwork, patterning, color experimentation, etc." We pulled out the glue, paper, scissors, crayons and let the kids do what they do best - create. My friends and I read Erma Bombeck in the newspaper and laughed at her stories of her frustration with her washer repair man and no one from Sears & Roebuck wrote the paper or tried to sue Erma for slander. All of us laughed at the daily pleasures and annoyances of life that come with being a Mother and housewife. None of the mothers would have written an anonymous unkind letter to the newspaper about another mother (that's the problem with this technology).
There are way too many things that deserve serious attention on the front page of the newspaper - rather than an article that clearly states in the first line that it is a humorous column.

WhiteDevil writes:
in response to Jellybean12:
Congratulations, Jellybean12 - you have a child. Everyone should now pay attention to you, and how you act as a parent. Or should I say, watch you play parent. Because anyone who anonymously attacks someone they clearly know, with such vitriol is neither compassionate, or pragmatic. In fact, it's indicative of a shrill and hateful power tripping suburbanite mother with too much time on her hands and not enough fulfillment in her life.
Let's be quite clear - this story is not about you and your wonderful little demon spawn. If it were, you would be the author, or might have a fraction of the original author's talent to apply here - but sadly, that is simply not the case. The manner in which you inject personal attacks, sideways sarcasm and just plain meanness is unbecoming of an adult, let alone a parent that is supposed to be a role model for other children. But then again, based upon your writing, you don't care about the other kids - it's all about you, your overinflated ego, and your precious darling who is completely oblivious to it all.
Any parent of a child over 4 years old knows how quickly clutter accumulates. You want to keep all the paintings, the drawings, the clippings, the Jackson Pollack looking splatters of pre-school flotsam and jetsam - but there simply is no room to keep it all. The fridge is already decorated. It all gets thrown in a box somewhere and forgotten. So why keep these fractional memories outside of a photograph album? It IS wasteful. Do you truly think that even the Goodwill is interested in reselling your darling child's size 3 matching lederhosen and plastic beer stein that you just had to have for Austrian Awareness Day? They're pre-schoolers! Anything and everything they own or make will either be outgrown or simply thrown out in a matter of months.
Face it, Jellybean - the toddlers aren't the ones making the outfits, the costumes, the accessories or any of the other minutia that goes into making mommy's little angel into the perfect photo opportunity. It's grown adults playing dolly dress-up tea party with their children - and it's vain. If you truly believe that your pre-schooler cares, will care in the future, or will even remember these "precious moments", you're delusional, or just thinking about yourself. There will be no green with envy looks at your works. There will be no praise heaped upon your child or by extension, you for the fantastic little outfit that they put together all by themselves (wink wink).
There will be you, a daydream never realized, and that stupid over sized sombrero sitting in your car, just taking up space.
Thanks for taking a perfectly innocent piece about something we as parents all understand, and turning into a clinic about self righteousness and over analyzing by someone who craves attention that they're probably not getting at home, or never got as a child. We're all looking forward to not seeing you at any of the parent activities.

MAP223 writes:
in response to Jellybean12:
I encourage you to save all your child/children’s art projects. The Sombrero is only the beginning. By the end of elementary school you will have accumulated:
-several more “hat” shaped projects that only get bigger in size
-a Paper Mache globe the size of a basketball ( and its delicate so find somewhere to hang it where it won’t get broken or burned up by the chandeliers)
-a life-size cutout of your child that will require wall space. It’s made out of a giant piece of paper so tell your kid to try to not rip it on the way home from school.
-at least 3 or 4 dioramas- so save your shoe boxes. You may actually have to get rid of some shoes to make room for these. Some will have saran wrap around them so you can’t stack them because saran wrap isn’t that sturdy.
-there will be all different kinds of masks made out of giant paper plates. Some will contain Paper Mache- so again, delicate, and you’ll need more wall space.
-mobiles with yarn and paper figures flowing in all directions. Don’t place this outside or the wind will tangle it all up and you might have to throw it away after that.
-when the kids learn about the Pilgrims and Indians, there will be some “outfits” depicting the characters. The children will make them out of paper so be sure to remind your kids to be really careful while wearing their designs and try not to rip anything. Your probably going to have to frame these because they’re definitely going to get destroyed once they're home because, after all, they are just pieces of paper.
-elementary school science classes love art projects. You'll be seeing a lot of Styrofoam balls attached to coat hangers, plastic 2-liter bottles that have some nasty concoction inside, and lots of things with dirt. I don’t have any display suggestions for you here. But I do suggest between now and then, that you get a grip (and a sense of humor) or your house is going to look like a circus… if it doesn’t already.
goldfinger writes:
I was surprised to read Jellybean13’s comment. I’m not sure how or why such a light-hearted poke of fun at a mother’s common-place conundrum drew such an over-reaction and personal attack. This is obviously a humorous column; if you lack a sense of humor, it might be best to refrain from reading it. While I find Ms. Russell's column funny, I find Ms. Jellybean's response to it laughable.

PressleyJ writes:
My kids are sick....not really sure if I should give them Benadryl but I need some quiet time to respond. And I'm joking, so good Lord, jellybean, seriously relax. What a gross overreaction to what is supposed to be a funny article! The first sentence states it's supposed to be humorous. If you didn't find it funny you're certainly entitled to your opinion but what gives you the right to be rude? The anonymity of the internet is sickening. As a parent of 3 girls I can certainly relate to the mess in the car and the neverending school projects, and I complain about it (easy now...goodnaturedly) with my friends. Should I go back to school too? But I guess not all of us can be as perfect as you and have a giant house large enough to accommodate all the dioramas, science fair projects and yes, hula-hoop sized sombreros. I just don't have that many "neat little boxes". Get a sense of humor and save your anger and comments for an issue that's actually worth getting upset about, like poverty, child abuse or any news article with the word "Obama" in it.

Saturday, November 12

Virginia's State of Mind: Headline news: Cain, Kardashian, Zuckerberg and sombreros

This column is supposed to offer a compelling and humorous perspective on current events. Some weeks are more challenging than others.
This week's headlines include: 1. Debate over Herman Cain's sexual harassment accusations; 2. Kim Kardashian is in Minnesota with Kris Humphries trying to get "closure"; and 3. Billionaire Mark Zuckerburg, who stole his Facebook idea from his friends, hacked Harvard University computers and dropped out in 2004, is welcomed back for a visit to campus with open arms. What more could I possibly say?
My son's preschool class is in the midst of "international month." In my opinion the sum total of international month is a lot of oversized craft projects. Thus far, the crème de la crème of the international craft projects is my son's sombrero, obviously made in honor of Mexico.
The problem with the sombrero is that while it's outstanding rehearsal dinner fodder, it's extremely large.
I have multiple boxes filled with my son's important stuff and mementos that hopefully he will one day cherish as memories of his childhood. No matter how adorable or important the sombrero may be, I'm not keeping it. The sombrero doesn't fit in any of the boxes unless it's folded like a fajita.
Why can't the teachers select more compact craft projects? Why can't they just color pictures of a taco or a chili pepper? The sombrero has been sitting on our kitchen counter for two weeks and every time it accidentally slips into the trash can, my son somehow manages to discover its location and rescues the sombrero from its impending doom.
The sombrero, like so many of its supersized craft cohorts, takes up unavailable space all over the house and worst of all — the car. I know mothers with even the most orderly homes that have rolling garbage cans for cars. Every parent battles with the daily challenge of trash litter, but there's nothing more annoying than the glitter glue, multi-felt piece, awkwardly shaped craft projects in various stages of assembly scattered all over the car.
Every time I speak to my friend Courtney she says one of three things, "I have to clean the car" or "I just cleaned out the car" or "I can't talk because I'm cleaning the car." Courtney's car mess is in great part due to the supersized, glitter glue art projects. Courtney is fighting a losing battle that will not end until her children go to college.
I've been observing my friends with older children. As the children advance in years, the supersized projects become increasingly costly, complex and mentally challenging for the parents. In my opinion, someone needs to reign in this potentially explosive situation.
I decided to take matters into my own hands for the benefit of all of the moms in my son's class. I gently pointed out to the teacher that the large craft projects not only take up a lot of space, but also use up a lot of paper, which frankly is not very "green." I provided other data points which I thought effectively presented a bipartisan case. I even mentioned the bit about high school, when ninth graders are expected to produce tri-fold freestanding pictorial boards with a supporting PowerPoint presentation. At the time, my point seemed extremely well received.
I am now responsible for the international crafts in my son's preschool class.The next country on the international month schedule is China and my mind is a blank. I scoured the Internet for ideas and every craft project I found involved permanent pens, sharp scissors or worst of all, paper mâché.I thought about having the children make fortune cookies but there are two problems with that idea: First, fortune cookies are a completely fabricated American-Chinese restaurant dessert. Second, the children can't write much beyond their own names. A blank fortune cookie would undoubtedly be bad luck in any country. I may be on the same path as the sombrero — doomed.
It's highly likely that my son will be contagiously ill the day I'm supposed do the Chinese craft project. I don't know why I was so eager to send the sombrero back to Mexico.
I should have been relieved they didn't make a piñata.

Sunday, November 6

Columbus sailed a flat planet and invaded a land - not America

If you are going to continue to tell your children that Columbus sailed the ocean blue and discovered America - why don't you also tell your children that the earth is flat.  Because if you are going to play the game: 'tell your kid a lie because it's easier' a 'flat planet' and the 'Columbus discovery of America' are equally not truthful.  In other words, a big fat lie based on no facts whatsoever. 

Furthermore, at one point in time, there was a bunch of people on the planet, including Columbus, who believed that the earth was flat.  Then someone said "The earth is a sphere and I have facts to prove it!"  The flat earth believers then said things like "Why do you want to rewrite history?"  Eventually, when rockets took off and looked back at the planet, took pictures of the earth and brought the pictures home as evidence - it could no longer be denied.  Everyone agreed the earth is definitely round and the science books were rewritten and parents finally told their children the truth.

How about everyone agrees to tell their kids the truth now.  Columbus did not discover America.  And telling your children the truth does not make you 'unAmerican'.  And you can't be rewriting history that never actually happened - you are writing the correct history for the first time.  Finally, yes, Columbus was a great discoverer, but so were the Chinese who came long before Columbus.

And last but not least - HOW CAN YOU DISCOVER A COUNTRY THAT IS ALREADY POPULATED?  There were many, many what we now call Native Americans already living in what we now call America.  A bunch of Anglo-Saxons and Europeans DID NOT DISCOVER AMERICA THEY INVADED AMERICA and then categorically annihilated an entire ethnic nation of Native Americans - ssystematically destroying their history and traditions.

Please man up and tell your children's teacher to tell your kids the truth.

Is this guy Columbus?

                How about this guy? Does he look like Columbus?
  This is also supposed to be a picture of Columbus.                      

Maybe this guy is Columbus?

or this guy?



Keeping up with the Kardashians Wedding, Divorce and Gift Returns

How could Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries be getting divorced after only 72 days of marriage? I’ve stayed on diets longer than 72 days. Kim and Kris, or as I like to call them, Double K, appeared to be the one Hollywood couple that would stand united through thick and thin. I was completely shocked when I learned of the couple’s split, mostly because I didn’t know they had married. Still, it makes we wonder, “If Double K can’t make it, then who can?”
Even though I wasn’t invited to the intimate 500 person wedding, I feel like I was there since the couple made every detail available to the media. The planning, preparations and wedding was the subject of the E! Entertainment four hour, two day TV special, “Kim’s Fairytale Wedding: A Kardashian Event.” The estimated $10 million dollar wedding, paid by E! Entertainment screamed “we are deeply committed.” Hopefully Double K’s pain is lessened by the $18 million dollars they grossed from their nuptials and surrounding events (accurate net profit and EBITDA numbers unavailable).  
Kim’s career as a famous person began four years ago when her mother Kris and step father Bruce Jenner (Olympian and Wheaties cereal eater) realized that three of their six children were very compelling on camera. With the help of a good publicity team, Khloe, Kim and Kourtney Kardashian became the focus of the E! Entertainment reality TV series, “Keeping up with the Kardashians.” Kim Kardashian launched into the stratosphere of stardom as viewers everywhere watched Kim and her family simply exist on the planet. Since then, her fame and fortune have exceeded expectations.
The couple must have received oodles of presents from wedding guests and well-wishers all over the globe. How could they possibly have time to open all of those presents in 72 days? The wedding gift returns will be a nightmare. I have a difficult time returning a shirt to a store with a 90 day return policy. What would Emily Post say regarding the etiquette of this situation? Kim’s assistant and publicity team have many sleepless nights ahead as they try to compose those thank you notes.
Fortunately, Kim’s monogram didn’t change when she wisely married a Chris with a ‘K’. Now she can keep his wedding gift, a diamond knot bracelet with two dangling diamond ‘K’s. On the “Kim’s Fairytale Wedding: A Kardashian Event” TV special, her sister Kourtney described the bracelet and said, “She (Kim) normally picks out every gift that everyone gives her, so she was definitely surprised (by the bracelet).”
To be fair, Double K’s marriage may have been doomed before it began. The overwhelming public scrutiny during their nine month courtship would be stressful for any young couple. On the “Kim’s Fairytale Wedding: A Kardashian Event” TV special the emotional disconnect between the couple surfaces at times in Kris’s strained expressions and awkward unscripted dialog. I guess we all should have seen the writing on the wall when Kris asked Kim, “Are you not yourself when you’re around me?” and Kim answered, “No I am, I just like…You don’t know like a whole half of my life, you know?” Sager words were never said. Kim is absolutely correct. She did the math and surmised that 26 year old Kris wasn’t there for the first 15 ½ years of her life. How could the two possibly be expected to stay together when Kris has missed everything from her first words to her high school graduation?
As the newlyweds walked down the aisle, Kris could be heard saying, “Baby you’re my wife now.” In response, Kim said, “How weird is that?”  
She said it, not me.
Kim carefully makes the most important decision of her life, what nail color to match the ring?