Book and Film Review

ted Don't waste your time going to see the movie Ted.  The guy who co-wrote the screenplay, Alec Sulkin (Seth MacFarlane is the other co-writer) apparently went to the same boarding school that I attended.  He was a few years behind me.  I don't remember him.  Now he probably thinks he's so great just because he's writing screenplays.  And, he also owns plural large homes.  Who cares?  Material things are not important.  There's more to life than money.  Just because he's younger than me, has more money than me, more homes and cars than me, means absolutely nothing.  I am not at all bitter that we presumably have the same educational background and therefore technically the same skillset and he is a massively more successful writer than I am. 

The part in the movie when the bear and the guy snort cocaine and discuss plans for their restaurant was hilarious.  Whatever.

Jennifer's AWESOME book!
Valhalla Jennifer's book, Valhalla is now available on Amazon and you should absolutely read it immediately because it's AWESOME!!!  Actually, I didn't read it because I bought the ipad version forgetting that I had returned my ipad to the store.  Don't tell Jennifer that I haven't read it.  I thought about copying a review off of Amazon but I think that is plagiarism and I think Jennifer might notice.  I will tell you this.  I know Valhalla is good because she was the kind of student that got an A++ with extra credit.  In third grade her book report had inserts, footnotes and a creative mixed-media collage cover.  I was the kind of student that said "we had a book report?" Jennifer would never have spent so much time putting so many words in one book if it weren't AWESOME!!! 

Here is a link to Amazon so you can get your Valhalla on:

and p.s., who's the boob that only gave her 4 stars on Amazon?  What's your major malfunction?  Did Jennifer not invite you to her birthday party?

The Black Swan  I really can't say too much about this film because I covered my ears and had my eyes closed for 80% of the movie.  It was really psycho.  You should think of the Talking Head song "psycho killer, qu'est ce que c'est, fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa, run, run, run, run, run awaaaayyy...."  I wanted to run out of the movie but felt compelled to stay to find out what all of the hubbub was about.  Nathalie Portman was amazing.  Who knew she could act after Star Wars?  The world of ballet was in every respect accurately depicted.  My question, was the Mom just as psycho as Nina or only partly psycho?  Also, what drug did Nina take at the bar?  That was a perfect example of why you should never do drugs.  Why would anyone want to hallucinate about sex with a lesbian swan woman?

The King's Speech  Everyone including me loved this movie so you should go see it too.  However, I do have a few questions. 

First, do you remember the scene where the King, who is actually a Prince at that point in the movie, meets Lionel for the first time?  The Prince sits on a couch and the wall behind him appears to be faux painted circa 2004 when the 'gold tones' were popular.  Is the wall supposed to appear old and the faux painting reflect the disrepair of the paint and Lionel's current finanical status.  Or, is the wall a creative reflection of Lionel's quirky personality and the uniqueness of his character as evidenced by the apartment?  Either way, as Lionel's salary increased, I think he should have stayed there and renovated that apartment because the huge fireplace was awesome. 

Second, what was up with Lady Wallis Simpson?  She was middle aged, divorced twice, American and still managed to score a King!  What was her trick?  I think a movie about Lady Wallis would be fascinating.  I suspect part of it would be rated pg and filled with Emily Post like details, part of it would be rated r with witty dialog as seen on TV gems such as The West Wing but most of it would be rated x showing scenes of Wallis Simpson's real talents.  What did she know?  What was her area of expertise?  Does she know something that middle aged women everywhere need to know?
Third, I don't understand how and when the room was festooned with the fabric and curtains for the King's war speech broadcast.  Didn't it seem to you that the King called (or had someone else call) Lionel the day of the speech in a bit of a panic.  Could Lionel just come and go as he pleased at the palace and decorate rooms as he saw fit?  And what about that really long walk from the practice room all the way to the broadcast room.  That was a long hall that went through a lot of rooms.  Did they have to build a set with that many rooms or was that filmed at someone's home who has way too many rooms off of one hallway?

Most importantly, to the many men who have asked "why is Colin Firth a hottie?"  He is hotter than hot because he doesn't try to be hot.  He isn't perfect, his jaw line isn't that of Brad Pitt and his body isn't jacked like Adonis.  He projects a studly personality because he exhibits integrity, ethics and honor in everything that he does.  It is his strength of character and attractive physical features combined that make him uniquely handsome.  So the next time you ask someone, why do women think Colin Firth is a babe?  Go look in the mirror and disregard your not Brad Pitt facial features and look inside for your Colin Firth strength of character.