Sunday, November 6

Keeping up with the Kardashians Wedding, Divorce and Gift Returns

How could Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries be getting divorced after only 72 days of marriage? I’ve stayed on diets longer than 72 days. Kim and Kris, or as I like to call them, Double K, appeared to be the one Hollywood couple that would stand united through thick and thin. I was completely shocked when I learned of the couple’s split, mostly because I didn’t know they had married. Still, it makes we wonder, “If Double K can’t make it, then who can?”
Even though I wasn’t invited to the intimate 500 person wedding, I feel like I was there since the couple made every detail available to the media. The planning, preparations and wedding was the subject of the E! Entertainment four hour, two day TV special, “Kim’s Fairytale Wedding: A Kardashian Event.” The estimated $10 million dollar wedding, paid by E! Entertainment screamed “we are deeply committed.” Hopefully Double K’s pain is lessened by the $18 million dollars they grossed from their nuptials and surrounding events (accurate net profit and EBITDA numbers unavailable).  
Kim’s career as a famous person began four years ago when her mother Kris and step father Bruce Jenner (Olympian and Wheaties cereal eater) realized that three of their six children were very compelling on camera. With the help of a good publicity team, Khloe, Kim and Kourtney Kardashian became the focus of the E! Entertainment reality TV series, “Keeping up with the Kardashians.” Kim Kardashian launched into the stratosphere of stardom as viewers everywhere watched Kim and her family simply exist on the planet. Since then, her fame and fortune have exceeded expectations.
The couple must have received oodles of presents from wedding guests and well-wishers all over the globe. How could they possibly have time to open all of those presents in 72 days? The wedding gift returns will be a nightmare. I have a difficult time returning a shirt to a store with a 90 day return policy. What would Emily Post say regarding the etiquette of this situation? Kim’s assistant and publicity team have many sleepless nights ahead as they try to compose those thank you notes.
Fortunately, Kim’s monogram didn’t change when she wisely married a Chris with a ‘K’. Now she can keep his wedding gift, a diamond knot bracelet with two dangling diamond ‘K’s. On the “Kim’s Fairytale Wedding: A Kardashian Event” TV special, her sister Kourtney described the bracelet and said, “She (Kim) normally picks out every gift that everyone gives her, so she was definitely surprised (by the bracelet).”
To be fair, Double K’s marriage may have been doomed before it began. The overwhelming public scrutiny during their nine month courtship would be stressful for any young couple. On the “Kim’s Fairytale Wedding: A Kardashian Event” TV special the emotional disconnect between the couple surfaces at times in Kris’s strained expressions and awkward unscripted dialog. I guess we all should have seen the writing on the wall when Kris asked Kim, “Are you not yourself when you’re around me?” and Kim answered, “No I am, I just like…You don’t know like a whole half of my life, you know?” Sager words were never said. Kim is absolutely correct. She did the math and surmised that 26 year old Kris wasn’t there for the first 15 ½ years of her life. How could the two possibly be expected to stay together when Kris has missed everything from her first words to her high school graduation?
As the newlyweds walked down the aisle, Kris could be heard saying, “Baby you’re my wife now.” In response, Kim said, “How weird is that?”  
She said it, not me.
Kim carefully makes the most important decision of her life, what nail color to match the ring?

No comments:

Post a Comment