Murdoch and Brooks - hacking phones for news

Rupert Murdoch abruptly ended publication of the News of the World in response to allegations that journalists were hacking phones for news stories. The News of the World, otherwise known as the “News of the Screws” sold more than 2 million copies per week. It was widely considered a tabloid rag that published sex scandals and exposed the private lives of public figures.

In regard to the hacking, the editor, Colin Myler said, “Nothing should diminish everything this great newspaper has achieved.” And it has achieved so much.

Consider the former News of the World reporter James Weatherup, recently arrested for phone hacking. I have provided two examples of Weatherup’s contribution to the achievement of the great newspaper, News of the World: “Sherrie’s a boozy, violent, jealous control freak – EXCLUSIVE CORRIE LEGEND’S HUBBY LETS LOSE AT STAR,” and “Stone me, she’s better looking than dad! – ROCKER KEITH’S GIRL STRIPS FOR PLAYBOY.” It took me literally four hours to find column titles by Weatherup that contain verbiage acceptable for my parents to read.

Of course the many accomplishments of former chief reporter Neville Thurlbeck (also arrested for phone hacking) should not be overlooked. Thurlbeck was responsible for covering or fabricating news about the royal family. One of his last articles published was titled “ANDREW & THE SEX SLAVE BEAST.” Thurlbeck’s journalistic contributions to the News of the World were an achievement indeed.

If I had been the editor of News of the World and I was paying off the police, I would have fired the journalists long ago for turning out such literary trash when presumably they had access to really good direct source information. If they were willing to commit a crime for the sake of juicy news, then the news better be darn good and it wasn’t. It was as sour as a lemon.

Who has the patience to listen to that many phone conversations? I talk a lot and there’s a limit to how much time even I can spend on the phone. I can’t imagine the tedium of listening to other people’s conversations. And who says anything on the phone that is so titillating it is worth recording? Why waste time and risk legal entanglements when so many public personalities, from performers to politicians freely dish out news on Twitter and Facebook as if it were candy?

The benefit of hacking people’s phones is that you can stay in your pajamas and sit on your own sofa while you’re on the phone doing “research” for your next article. So in the name of research and the desire to sit in my pajamas all day, I asked my editor for a phone hacking device. I don’t know who I would listen to, but I assure you I would come up with scintillating news about grocery shopping and the most recent episode of Glee. I promised my editor that I would listen to thousands of calls (but not his). I guaranteed juicy stories that would make at least lemonade if not a pina colada. His not-so-subtle response confirms that this newspaper is more ethical than Murdoch’s 168-year-old, multi-million dollar publication.

News of the World should have been put out of its misery long ago. Murdoch should have fired all of his editors for the inability to group words into a reasonable sentence structure and excessive use of the “caps lock” key. And finally, Rebekah Brooks should fire her hairdresser for letting her look like the cowardly lion after his visit to the Emerald City.

Limbaugh potentially ill?

As a parent there are certain questions I avoid like the plague. I often respond to the most awkward question “Mom where do babies come from?” with “Daddy can answer that question much better than I can.” Of course there are other difficult esoteric questions also worthy of deflection. Even Webster was of no assistance with the most recent “What does the word ‘integrity’ mean?”

In the same way that an example of “high” can be used to define “low,” I decided that it was easier to explain the opposite of integrity as a path to the true meaning of integrity. This seemed an obvious solution considering examples of individuals totally devoid of even a speck of integrity abound in the news.

Rush Limbaugh is in my opinion, the King of negative integrity. In a colossal collision of his personal opinion and all ethical codes and canons of journalism, Limbaugh disgracefully attacked Sandra Fluke for presenting her testimony on contraception before Congress. He said on his radio show: 

“I will buy all of the women at Georgetown…aspirin to put between their knees…(Fluke) essentially says that she must be paid to have sex. What does that make her? a slut…a prostitute. She’s having so much sex she can’t afford the contraception. If we are going to pay for your (Fluke) contraceptives…We want you to post the videos online so we can all watch…who bought your condoms in junior high? She's having so much sex it's amazing she can still walk.”

Subsequent to Limbaugh’s absurd verbal spew Fluke has become a sympathetic figure and appeared on multiple major network TV shows and is a pervasive topic in news media. Limbaugh’s disturbingly inappropriate comments catapulted Fluke’s contraception cause into mainstream discussion and raised the question, “Is Limbaugh filtering all of his thoughts?” Everything he said, except for the prepositions should have remained caged within his temporal lobe. Limbaugh’s inability to mentally filter may be a symptom of a more serious health issue. He may need to have a sieve surgically implanted on his brain.

I once had an experience when my mouth was directly connected to my stream of consciousness. I had a horrible rash and realized I was out of Benadryl. In a moment of total desperation I decided to use my children’s Benadryl. I doubled the dose assuming that two eight year olds equal one of me. Unfortunately my computation was off and I quadrupled the dose. The rash went away but my arms felts like overcooked linguine with bricks at each end where my hands should have been. Everything that came out of my mouth was nonsensical; I was useless verbal entertainment.

I was hoping to apply a similar excuse to Limbaugh’s illogical eruption. A drug induced manic verbal moment is plausible considering his history of drug addiction. In 2003 he was absent from his show to enter drug rehabilitation for prescription drug addiction. In this particular instance I don’t think the “I was drugged out of my mind” excuse is applicable considering Limbaugh repeated the same statements about Fluke during his radio show over the course of three days.

In 2006 he was charged with doctor shopping. The criminal charges were dropped when he agreed to a court diversion program which included drug treatment and a fine. Two months later he was detained in a Florida airport for possessing the penis erectile dysfunction drug Viagra that was prescribed in a different name. The Viagra was confiscated but Limbaugh wasn’t charged.

This last verbal attack may have revealed more about his well-being than he intended. He may be suffering from the side effects from Viagra, Oxycontin or Hydrocodone which include but aren’t limited to: loss of hearing, mental changes, speech changes and constipation.

His problem with University students may run deep considering he never made it past his freshman year and his issue with contraception could be multifaceted. Perhaps he is suffering from other ailments of which we know nothing. One can only hope that someone close to Limbaugh, presumably his fourth wife since he has no children, is assessing his condition.  

The challenge for me is that I cannot use this R-rated example of the opposite of integrity to define integrity for my children. Thus I shall continue to say “Daddy can answer that question much better than I can.”

p.s., Limbaugh signed a $400 million contract 8 year contract in 2008. I need a raise.

http://www.naplesnews.com/news/2012/mar/07/virginias-state-mind-limbaughs-inability-mentally/

The Pope is on twitter

The pope is tweeting once a day every day for the next 40 days of lent. He is reminding people in 140 characters or less of important biblical passages and themes. This is supposed to help people remain committed to their sacrifice during lent.

Question 1) what will he do when lent is over? Will his twitter account go dormant until next lent?

Question 2) who's idea was this? They should be fired. It is only a matter of time before it becomes public that the pope is following a priest that tracked down a kid on twitter and - well nothing good can come of that. Its a disaster of epic proportion in the making. It's Kim Kardashian + Arnold Schwarzenegger + Anthony Weiner = social media catastrophe. Ugh. .... Must we all witness the religious debris bound to spew from this impending wreck - yuck

Not trying to be sacrilegious here - just pointing out the inevitable.