Obama Tryna Tweet

President Barack Obama held a Twitter town hall Wednesday July 6^th, moderated by Jack Dorsey, the founder of Twitter. A small number of Twitter users were selected to participate in the town hall. Any Twitter user could send a question to the president via the Twitter town hall participants. The town hall participants determined which questions were finally tweeted to the president.

I was not among the selected town hall twitterers. I am incensed. How could I have been so grossly overlooked? I want to know the criteria used to determine the elite Twitter town hall participants. If you read my tweets you would understand my fury at this particular injustice. My best description of my own tweets is literary genius.

Twitter limits each post to 140 characters. The tweet therefore, must communicate a lot in very few words. In other words, it is really just a contest to see who can write the best haiku. Obama was excused from the 140 character limitation. I think that’s like saying we are going to play checkers, but the President can move anywhere on the board whenever he feels like it. Normally I would beat this point to death, but I am so impressed that he ventured into the Twitter arena that I am willing to overlook his Twitter double-dealing.

The brilliance of Twitter is its instant accessibility to a widespread audience. One misworded tweet is proliferated across the globe like a pandemic. One ridiculous statement (think Weiner) has immediate impact that simply didn’t exist four years ago. It takes a certain amount of courage to step up to the plate and engage in a dynamic political conversation under the eyes of millions. One loss at the game of Twitter has grave consequences.

It has been confirmed that the Fox news account was hacked on July 4. Disturbing tweets were posted under the Fox news Twitter account inaccurately stating that Obama had been shot and killed. Twitter accounts are hacked with significant consequences. Then there are those Twitter users who only wish that their accounts were hacked. Contrary to his public statement, Anthony Weiner’s Twitter account was not hacked. However, after reading his tweets, they certainly appear hacked. If I were responsible for Weiner’s public relations I would have recommended long ago that he claim his account had been hacked.

One of Weiner’s tweet gems, “On with Rachel tonight. Gonna talk about Trump eating pizza with a fork!”

Weiner would have been better off avoiding Twitter altogether. Even users who grew up with Twitter are challenged by reasonable tweet composition. Asher Roth, a young rapper tweeted, “hanging out with nappy headed hoes.” He followed up with an apology “sorry scoot, not tryna be offensive.”

Ultimately I think waiving the 140 character limitation for Obama was a good idea. It would have been painful to read a presidential tweet, “potus tryna fix econ & defcit – what’s ur q?” I for one am relieved that our president is not the source of another Twitter controversy.

link to Asher Roth's idiocy

Sunset in the Everglades

A review of Bristol Palin’s fruit-flavored book

I recently bought frozen, chocolate chip cookies, baked and served them to my guests as if they were “homemade”. Similarly, Bristol Palin has “written” a book and it is now available in bookstores across America. It is titled, Not Afraid of Life, My Journey So Far. If Bristol at age 20 is already on a book-worthy journey, I must be nearing the end of an epic-long trek.

You probably don’t need to read the book as the made-for-TV movie is sure to be out soon. Depending on who is cast as Bristol, you may want to watch even if TV is not your thing since the book begins with a sex scene.

According to Bristol, the sex scene and resulting pregnancy was the consequence of too many sweet wine coolers. Bristol admits of the evil wine coolers, “I slowly surrendered to their woozy charms.” I’ve known it all along but now I have documented proof. Wine coolers are the magician’s muse and the devil’s dessert.

Bristol writes, “I never drank. In fact, I knew nothing about anything bad really….especially the differences between vodka, beer and whiskey. I didn’t know that the girly flavored wine coolers were just as likely to get you drunk as the hard stuff.” I’ve only read the first chapter and I’ve already learned so much from Bristol’s journey. I now know that when I tell my children “It’s illegal to drink alcohol under the age of 21” I will also need to say, “That includes wine coolers, even the girly flavors.”

I contacted the wine cooler manufacturer to discuss the serious implications of their fruity flavors. They seemed unconcerned and said they would “get back to me.” I then decided to test the dangerous girly-flavored wine coolers to determine for myself how many it takes to become completely intoxicated, pass out and wake up pregnant. Since wine coolers have low alcohol content I figured I would need to drink them as fast as possible to get to the point of semi-consciousness.

The only remarkable thing I can say about my first drink is that it was refreshing. After I finished my third drink in 30 minutes I felt like a fruit salad floating out to sea. There was no chance I could drink enough wine coolers to get totally sloshed and hit the pavement face down. I can’t explain how Bristol got pregnant, but I don’t think it was the charming wine coolers.

“Why am I telling you-and my family for the first time-this personal information?” Bristol shares with the reader. I wondered the same thing and continued reading, hoping to find some reasonable answer.

I have reached page 16 in Not Afraid of Life, My Journey So Far and I feel like I’m pretty much done. I think I have the general gist of her life and journey thus far. Technically, Bristol has included many polysyllabic words and handily used her thesaurus.

More than ever I appreciate the importance of a good editor. With that in mind, I have baked homemade, not frozen, chocolate chip cookies which I am delivering to my editor today.