Wednesday, June 22

Ohio State University loses head coach and tattoo parlor

I will bring you up to speed on the heated discussions in Starbucks in case you are one of the three people in Naples who did not attend Ohio State University.
The owner of Fine Line Ink tattoo parlor in Columbus, Ohio, was investigated in December 2010 by the FBI and other law enforcement agencies for drug trafficking and money laundering. During a raid, the FBI guys found oodles of evidence supporting their investigation and also found Ohio State football team memorabilia including Big Ten championship rings.
Apparently multiple players went to the tattoo parlor and traded their Buckeye team possessions for money and tattoos (not drugs…).
The head coach of the Buckeyes, Jim Tressel, was contacted regarding his players’ transgressions. Coach Tressel tried to sweep the mess under the rug but apparently he left a bump in the carpet because the situation quickly became front page news. The NCAA does not look kindly on players selling team memorabilia and especially coach cover-ups. Consequently, the offending players have been suspended and Tressel has resigned as head coach of the Buckeyes.
First and foremost, Ohio State fans are seriously perturbed because from their perspective the Big Ten championship rings belong in Tiffany’s, not tattoo parlors. I have a friend that is a big Ohio State fan so I called Fine Line Ink tattoo parlor to see if they have anything left, or if they knew where I could get a ring, or even a shoelace, but the number has been disconnected and Edward Rife, the owner, is in jail.
The Ohio State fans that I spoke with had strong feelings regarding the outcome of the events and Tressel’s resignation. I wanted to solicit their opinion, but the smoke pouring from their ears when I said, “But they did break NCAA rules, right?” drove me away.
I decided to get some outside, objective opinions on the situation from local football professionals. Turns out, that’s more easily said than done.
I tracked down the general location of Indianapolis Colts football star, Edgerrin James for his view because I’ve heard that he’s really friendly. I think I was at the right house, but no one answered the door even though I tried to dodge the well-placed cameras. I think I would have had more success if I’d been wearing a Girl Scout sash and selling Thin Mints cookies.
I tried to stalk Sonny Jurgensen, sports commentator and former Washington Redskins quarterback, but I really don’t know who he is, what he looks like, which house is his or if I was even on the right street.
After many calls, I finally reached Charlie Gogolak, most recently placekicker for the New England Patriots. Gogolak said, “Tressel looks like an accountant to me…but he was not running a tight ship and a head coach has to be close to his players.”
I’m pretty sure coaches and athletes go unlisted because of people like me.
Ultimately, I agree with Gogolak. Every ship (think Titantic) needs a captain, every bank (think Barings Bank) needs an accountant, every team (think Buckeyes) needs a coach that pays tight attention to the details and every neighborhood needs a front gate.

1 comment:

  1. I married into a Buckeye family and am still learning about all of this. Yet another reason why I love your blog. O-H!

    -Miss GOP