Miss Lee saw me naked.

Review and contemplate the diagram below.  This is the layout of the kitchen, master bathroom and balcony.  Can you identify the major, fundamental, design flaw?

Diagram

You are correct!  As depicted in the photo below, a person standing in the kitchen, can look out the kitchen window and see a person through the bathroom window.  In this image, Timmy has taken the extra step of going outside to the "balcony."  This step is not necessary.  Regardless of whether the lights are on, or off, the person in the bathroom is clearly visible from the kitchen.

Not so secret spy

After I stepped out of the shower and reached for a towel by the bathtub, I looked up, naked as a jaybird, only to see Miss Lee, on the other side of the kitchen window, staring back at me.  Excellent.

His expression indicates I am clearly visible

I simply pretended that I didn't see Miss Lee. I decided in my mind, that the windows are special one-way windows and therefore, I could see her, but she couldn't see me. Then, because I knew that she really could see me, I hid in the bedroom for a long time. I locked the bedroom door and yelled out, "I'm working, and then I'm taking a nap." My laptop was not in the bedroom with me, but Miss Lee is not exactly a brain trust so I doubt she realized that I couldn't work without it.

Balcony / Outdoor hallway to exposed area with railing

Here's the balcony.  It's cozy.  The narrow hallway leads to a space exposed to the elements.  Note the laundry in the lower left corner of the picture.  Who's laundry is that?  It isn't drying.  We are in monsoon season.  It's getting wet every afternoon from the rain.  Is it Miss Lee's underwear and pants?  Why are her clothes hanging out to not-dry on our not-balcony?  If they aren't Miss Lee's clothes, than I really think that the woman who owns these pants and underwear needs to come get them.
 

I need a nanny

One of the most appealing aspects of my life in Hong Kong was having a full time, live-in, domestic helper.  It is very common in Hong Kong.  When I lived in Hong Kong I didn't know anyone who didn't have a domestic helper.  I assumed that this lifestyle was also common in Bangkok. You know what they say, "when you assume, you make 'A Silly Simpleton of U and ME'."  OK that's not really what they say.  What they really say is "when you assume, you make an 'ASS of U and ME'."  I was trying to come up with something PG Rated because "ass" is a bad word. 

Anyway, I was very excited at the prospect of having affordable full-time babysitting.  Help with cleaning and laundry would be a bonus.  When we arrived, finding a domestic helper was my first objective, even before unpacking.  I determined that:

PROBLEM
1) We need a babysitter
2) It is much harder to get a babysitter than I realized because:

• Thai women don't like to 'nanny'.  I don't know if they don't like to nanny for foreigners specifically, or they don't like to nanny in general.
• Everyone here is Thai

Undeterred by this speed bump, I was convinced that in a country with such considerable poverty, there must be at least one woman that would be willing to babysit my children.  I realize now, that my theory was seriously flawed.  But, to be fair, moving to a foreign country is not simple and sometimes I concoct plans that are not thoroughly analyzed or rigorously tested.

ISSUE
The Thai women that are willing to nanny are from 'up country'.   These are women from tribes in northernn Thailand.  Tribal people and aren't Thai citizens.  They speak a different language and cannot understand Thai. There are many tribes in the mountains of northern Thailand. They don't have refrigerators, ovens, washing machines, cars, etc. Their understanding of childcare is very different than even the average Thai family here in Bangkok, much less the average western family.

Again, to be fair, I had no idea that the women that are willing to nanny are from tribes that don't wear 'clothes' as we know them.

STRATEGY FOR PROBLEM (but not for the ISSUE because I didn't know about it at the time)
1) I called an agency and said that we would pay a monthly rate, so that she would have a steady salary even if there were days when we didn't need a babysitter.

ANOTHER ISSUE
The agencies aren't reliable and do send tribal women.  The agencies will also send women that have second jobs as 'dancers' (involving a pole).  Apparently the nanny has to pay the agency a fee when they are hired.

SOLUTION
The agency sent Miss Lee.  We set her interview up in the evening so that the kids could meet her.  She seemed perfectly nice and everyone liked her.  She said "I can do the cooking, the cleaning, I know the babies, I do everything."  Then she gestured to the our dinner still on the table and said "I can cook everything."  Looking back, I realize that a ten minute interview is not enough when hiring full time help.  Also, I probably should have looked at her resume or reviewed her references.  Here is a photo of Miss Lee

Miss Lee

I wasn't surprised during the interview to find that Miss Lee was very difficult to understand.  We had the same experience in Hong Kong.  English is taught in the schools here, but the students don't have a lot of opportunity to practice.  And more often than not, the teachers themselves, are Thai and have never been to an English speaking country.  I believed that her language issues could be overcome.  After I determined that she was a strong candidate and that we would likely hire her, I carefully enunciated my name for her and I introduced her to the children:

Me: "My name is Virginia Russell"
Miss Lee: "Huuhheeenia  Rooosselll"
Me: "uh, well that's not really it.  I think it might be hard for you to say?"
Miss Lee: "I call you Madame."  That sounded fine to me.
Me: "This is Timmy"
Miss Lee: "Timmeeeee"
Me: "Timmy can you say "Hello" to Miss Lee?"
Timmy: "Hello Miss Lee"
Miss Lee: "Helloh Timmeeee, Sawasdee Kah"
Timmy: "Why is she saying my name like that?"
Me: "She speaks thai, and you will need to help her with her english.  You may need to help her say your name.  Maybe you can learn some thai from her?"
Timmy: "I don't want to do that."  (I ignore all of this, hoping she didn't understand what he said).
Me: "This is Katrina"
Miss Lee: "Kasseeeenah"
Me: "No, it's Katrina"
Miss Lee: "Treeeenaaaah"
Me: "OK, Call her Kat"
Miss Lee: "Gahhfeeld!"
Me: "Garfield?  You mean Garfield that cat?  The cat in the cartooon?"
Miss Lee: "Ya, Ya, Ya, Ya, Gahhfeeld!"
Katrina: "My name is Katrina," said in a total state of confusion, surprise and consternation.  You can call me "Kat."
Miss Lee:  "Yes, Yes, like cat! You cat! Ok Gahhhfeeeld!  I call you Gahhhfeeeld," said with glee.
Katrina: "I'm not Garfield."  Looking at me,  "Does she think my name is Garfield?"
Me: "It's ok Katrina, I'll explain it to her later."
Tim: "So you have worked with children before?  You like children?"
Miss Lee: "Yes, I like.  The baybees.  I thaburie nara nar rah non tah baybeees. And I chit plun kop kah kah kah  Always, yes, kah, sam, sip, sum, kah kop kah."
Tim: "OK, sounds great."

After she left, I asked Tim, "Did you understand what she said?"  "Not a word"

We hired Miss Lee.

Thailand Taxi Warnings

In the taxis in Thailand, there is a sticker on the passenger's window.  The sticker shows images of things restricted in the taxi. It is the same concept as a sign you might see at a park or beach.  Of course the kids immediately wanted to know what the images were meant to depict. 

No gymnastics allowed in Thailand Taxis

This is a list of my explanations from left to right:

1) No oxen or yak
2) No guns or large steak knives
3) No gymnastics or exercising
4) No big dogs
5) No drinking
6) No durian fruit
7) No smoking

I'm sure that I got #7 correct. 

By the way, there is also a sign in the MRT station that says durian fruit is not allowed.  Durian fruit has an overwhelmingly bad odor.  If you can't bring it on the subway and you can't take it in a taxi, how do you get it home if you don't live close to the fruit market?