Saturday, May 26

Fake Food

I've eaten something that isn't food.  I was eating strawberry ice cream in bed (which I'm not supposed to do because Tim gets mad when I spill it, but that happened maybe one time at the most).  Ice cream should be cold and soft and I just found something in my mouth that wasn't cold or soft.  It was the consisteny of sturdy construction paper.  It looked a lot like a leaf from a fake plant.  It looked like a small brownish/redish leaf from one of those brownish fake plants that are ugly - that make you wonder why they bothered to make that particular fake plant when there are so many pretty plants that could have been fabricated instead.  Anyway, I tried to get as much of the ugly brown fake plant leaf out of my mouth as possible but I'm pretty sure I swallowed some.

I'm telling you all now because if it is from a fake plant then I will surely die from the toxic dyes and synthetic fibers used to make the fake leaf.  If that happens there will be no one to hook up the Wii for the kids and no one to feed Pickles (the cat).  If you don't hear from me in the next 12 hours, assume that I am dead and rescue my children - and feed the cat.

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