Attack of the Breadmaker

I asked Santa for a breadmaker for Christmas and Santa delivered.  I wanted a breadmaker because my freind Johanna makes bread almost daily.  Her bread smells wonderful, looks tantalizing and tastes delicious.


One afternoon I went to Johanna's house for a playdate and Johanna was just preparing to bake some whole wheat bread.  As if we were on a cooking show, I watched her toss ingredients into her bread maker in minutes and by the end of the playdate, fresh baked bread miraculously appeared.  She convinced me that I too, could easily perform the magic of breadmaker bread baking.  I made a cursory effort with my calculator and concluded that I would actually save money by baking my own bread.  And imagine the health benefits for my family!


My husband told me he would be impressed if I used the bread maker more than 3 times.  He did have some fact to substantiate his obnoxious comments because I received a (requested) juice maker for my birthday and used it exactly one time.  The juice maker then literally gathered dust on the floor of the pantry.  I promise, you would have done the same thing.  It was big, heavy and a hassle to clean.


In response to my husband's obnoxious breadmaker comment, I began baking bread.  I was determined to prove him wrong.  I baked five loaves of bread in two days.  I made white bread, two loaves of oatmeal bread, whole wheat bread and whole wheat buttermilk bread (didn't know that flavor existed).  I was like Jesus with the loaves of bread and fish, only no fish.  Not one of those five loaves resembled bread.


My understanding of the breadmaker is that it is fool proof.  Meaning any fool can use it and produce bread.  Let me tell you right now, I am no fool and will not be beaten by a countertop appliance.